Letting Go of the Past and Moving On
- Margaret Kelly
- Jun 25, 2015
- 2 min read
This is an area where many people struggle and I come across this all the time. It is something I work on both personally and professionally. All of us have something in the past that haunts us, hinders us and stops us from moving forward. Something we keep going back to, something that may have been traumatic, made us afraid, something we keep going over again and again. We may be afraid that this might happen again? It could be a relationship break-up, a loss, a traumatic event, an accident or an abusive relationship. Whatever it is for you, you can learn from it and learn to let it go.
Ask yourself why am I holding on to this and what are my fears around letting this go? The past is just that, it is the past. It’s gone. Whatever happened to you in the past was very real at that time and may have been very painful for you. Once you have worked through this, whether that involves counselling or talking with family/friends, journaling, meditation, it is important to learn how to let it go. Continuing to go over and over it, sometimes many years later, keeps that pain alive. Yes, it is really important to learn from your past, to learn about yourself. You may need to take some responsibility for the part you played in it but you will remain stuck in the past if you do not make a conscious decision to learn from your past and then make the decision to let it go. The past only continues to exist when you keep bringing it back up. If you keep reliving the past, you may be re-traumatising yourself over and over again.
Learn to let it go, by stopping thinking about it, once you have learned your lessons from it. You cannot change the past. That is outside of your control. It might still be affecting you, but you cannot change what has already happened. You can however change how you think about it and you can choose to let it go by stopping thinking about it and by stopping worrying about it.
It is not helpful or useful to keep worrying about it. This makes you anxious and is robbing you of the present and stealing any joy in your life right now. You may need to use distraction to help you when that worrying thought comes back, so think about something positive, plan something positive, something that will bring you joy now and in the future. Become more mindful of the present and focus on the now. Train yourself to stop worrying about the future or the past by focussing on what is happening in the present. If you need help with this, counselling is a great place to start. Please feel free to make contact with me for more information/appointment.
